


Between Me and You

by leosorrel (escsorrel)



Category: Zedd - Fandom, liam payne - Fandom
Genre: Angst too??, Bear Payne - Freeform, Fluff I guess, M/M, Married Couple, idk im bad at this shit, troubles of married life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 18:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escsorrel/pseuds/leosorrel
Summary: Liam has his doubts about being married and having a child.Based on the song with the same title by Brandon Flowers.





	Between Me and You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nowayout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowayout/gifts).



Liam let out a heavy sigh as he locked the door to his office. It was a while past midnight, and he just got out of working overtime at the post office, sorting out through mail that had to be sent out the following morning. It was an exausting task, hard on his eyes and on his mind. Sometimes, after these nights he couldn’t get random addresses out of his mind for hours and his head would be buzzing with doubts. ‘Did I put it in the right pile? Did I misread that address?’ And so on and so forth.

But that wasn’t even the worst part. In barely six hours he had to be back at work, at a construction site. He worked two jobs, just to keep his family happy.

He had a husband, Anton, who was the stay at home dad for their little son, Bear, so Liam had to pull the workload for both of them. It wasn’t nearly enough to secure them a comfortable life, but he was doing best. They still had a roof over their head, and they could have a proper meal three times a day. Anton had started going around to charities and thrift shops to find clothes for them all, which hurt Liam’s pride at the beginning, but he was learning to accept it.

He walked through the dark streets in the pouring rain, shoulders pulled up and eyes pinned to the ground. Doubts started entering his mind - was any of this even worth it? They had married young, naively thinking that an university degree could secure them a good job. Perhaps they had rushed in with the whole family thing.

He kicked a plastic bottle out of his way. He was worried about the future. Would he really be able to juggle two jobs like this for much longer? He didn’t even like any of the jobs he did, and he had absolutely no time for following his dreams. Why did people even preach the whole following your dreams thing? It was unrealistic, life would always get in your way, Liam thought. He had become cynical of the world, yet he tried to keep a smile on his face around Anton.

Anton. The love of his life. They met in university, both studying music, passionate about what they did. They were smitten from the moment they met. From drunk hookup’s at trashy parties, shy looks and red cheeks in the hallway, to comfortable silence when working together, dates under the night sky, soft kisses in the rain and finally, a year ago…

Liam walked underneath the shelter at a bus stop and sat down, closing his eyes.

Anton stood there, in the garden, all in white. Hair slightly ruffled and a stubble on his chin, eyes squinting at the sun as he tried to not look back at Liam, who was standing at the end of the aisle, in a black tuxedo, next to his father. Liam remembered every detail about that faithful day, how the air was filled with the scent of chamomiles, how dazzling Anton looked in the white suit, how their voices cracked while saying their vows and how soft his lover’s lips were as they kissed with their families cheering in the background.

And then came Bear. An absolute bundle of joy. Anton always said, that the little one looked just like Liam, and he joked that having two Liams was even better than one. The little one didn’t let them sleep at night, but they loved him dearly anyways.

Liam smiled for a moment, before the expression was wiped away by cold raindrops. He continued walking through the dark, and negative thoughts crowded him once again.

Did he really have anything to offer his family? He was barely at home anymore, always at one work or another, arriving for a few hours just to sleep, if he didn’t end up crashing back at the post office. He and Anton never did anything together anymore, and he had been feeling more and more distant from him with every day. A thought came to his head, sharp and painful like a bullet - What if Anton didn’t love him anymore? What if he, too, was tired of barely keeping everything together? Living from paycheck to paycheck, not being able to go out and relax? Did he despise Liam quietly for not doing enough, for not being enough?

Liam was certain Anton could do better than him. There was someone out there, someone more sucessful than Liam who could provide for Anton and Bear.

His head sunk even deeper into his shoulders and a frigid void replaced his heart as he opened the door to their apartment. He turned on the light in the hallway to take of his shoes, and he glanced at the wedding pictures on the wall. The coldness in his chest released a little bit.

After grabbing a snack from the fridge, he quietly walked into the bedroom, where Anton was. His husband had curled up on the left side of their bed, yet he wasn’t asleep. The bedside light was reflecting in his eyes as he blankly stared at Bear’s crib.

Liam crawled into bed and placed a kiss on Anton’s cheek, making the other man smile. They both sat up, leaning against the wall.

“Hi, Liam.” Anton said, warmly greeting his husband. Liam just nodded, sighing, which made Anton frown.

“What’s wrong, Liam?” He asked, reaching out for Liam’s hand, taking it and putting it on his chest, where his heart was, so Liam could hear Anton’s heartbeat.

“Between me and you,” Liam started, “I think I’m losing it now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I…I don’t think I can do it anymore. Chasing every pound, working every job I can find, just to keep us three afloat. I don’t even see you that much, I spend so much time away… Sometimes,” Liam’s voice cracked. “Sometimes I wonder, if I’m even enough for you anymore. I feel distant from you. We never get to go out anymore, hell, we don’t even talk that much. I don’t know what you do when I’m away.”

“Liam…”

“Anton, not to accuse you of anything, but I feel like you might have found someone else. I mean, I wouldn’t exactly blame you, this isn’t the life I promised you by the altar, but-”

“Liam. Look at me, Liam.” Anton said and Liam turned to him, just to see tears rolling down his husband’s cheeks.

“I will agree, I never thought it would be so hard, but… Let those thoughts go. I love you, Liam. I love you so much. As much as I did when I first told you I loved you all those years ago.”

Anton opened his mouth to continue talking, but halfway he changed his mind, pulling Liam in for a heated kiss. He tried to put all of his love in it, make Liam feel wanted and loved, make him feel like he felt, when he saw Anton all in white, waiting at the end of the aisle.

Inbetween kisses, Liam managed to sigh out and apology, and a promise. A promise to not let it get between them and their happiness.


End file.
